my burden

I am writing this out of frustration because I am having trouble with the "weight thing." Because of how life is sometimes, my blogs could never be completely positive. Sure, Chad loves me for who I am, but the holidays are TOUGH, and I feel so blubbery! I really need help. I have turned to a website called Sparkpeople.com, which has helped me track what I eat and my exercize. I also have a profile on there and some support. The hard thing is that, I don't really KNOW the people. The friends I DO know on there are not doing it with me at this time, nor can I attend 4F (at church) because Chad works nights. It's super frustrating, especially when you see so many people who are much thinner. This picture is me at my beginning weight with Chad who loves me no matter what. ;)

I definetely need God's help right now. As I got on facebook, I ran into my verse for the day. "And whatsoever ye do, in word or in deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." (Colossians 3:17). It really got me thinking. I realize, I don't need to lose weight for myself or even for others so they can clap and applaud. I need to do it for Jesus because of what He has done for me. Forget everything else! So putting aside selfish desires, I need to start today! It won't be easy at all, but the verse was certainly a motivation for me unlike anything else. I can also be thankful for the 15 LBS I HAVE lost since 2004.

What a joy it is to be able to have a gift certificate and eat someplace nice. I love pizza hut!!! Sure, I feel like I don't want to eat for a whole year, and I probably gained 5 LBS, but it's yummy! On Sundays, I enjoy spending time with Chad and the boys. Even going to Walmart is a highlight for us. Yes... Walmart.

Today we Christmas shopped, and I got to buy some presents for Sugeli ( a 4 year old girl) and Tyler ( a 2 year old) for the Angel Tree. I realize that I probably shouldn't have grabbed 2 tags off the tree, but at the time I felt I could be generous (not realizing that we didn't have the money in our own checking account for groceries this week). Regardless, I bought them a couple of toys and I wish that I could be able to see their eyes brighten up when they receive their Christmas surprise. :) I've never felt so unselfish as I do this year. I want to help people and I want to make a difference more than I've ever felt before. I'm just now beginning to realize just how good I have it and how everything is provided by our gracious God. I am thankful.

I also volunteered my time to make a meal for the teen moms at MOPS. I know I can't cook well, but I CAN throw together a quick yummy meal at times. The moms in Jessica's group have needed this ministry where they can come together, talk, vent, have time to with others, and know that there is a God who cares for them.

So, I am learning to give like I never have before. I don't mean to sound proud, but these are just things that God has placed on my heart to do. Sure, Chad is a little worried about the budget and I need to be careful, BUT things like this pull at my heart strings. I am emotional and proud of it! LOL!

Praise be to God for His unspeakable gift this Christmas season and throughout the coming year.

I've been having fun and watching Christmas movies ALL morning long!!! Yes, I may be lazy, but I love the Hallmark channel because the movies are so good and touching. AfteR a while, I'm going to take the boys outside to play in the little snow that we have. I need some fresh air also.

Mom and Dad are going to be leaving for Idaho / Oregon on Monday. I SO wish that I could have traveled with them to see Grandma. I miss her so much and the times that we used to talk beside the wood stove. I miss the smell of her home, the sugar cookies and the tea. We used to travel so much to get to school and it helped to talk to her about my day and the certain "guy" I would be interested in at the time. haha! She won't be able to travel to NY anymore and I wish that I could hug her one last time. She's not doing good health wise and it may not be long before she passes. All her boys, including my Dad will be with her. It will be a great reunion! So here's to YOU Grandma!!! I love you!

Thanksgiving was GREAT! Mom and Dad came over with some roasted chicken and then we had sweet potatoes with praline topping, green been cassarole, and good ole' stove top. Then we had banana muffins for dessert with some pumpkin spice creamer in our coffee.

Anna wasn't able to be with us and Chad had to work a bit, but other than that, Anna called us and we had a nice time.

We watched a classic movie called "open window" with Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly. It's about a guy who helps solve a murder mystery while watching out his window with a broken leg in a wheelchair. By the end of the movie, Jimmy gets thrown out the window, gets another broken leg, but manages to solve the mystery and the guy gets caught. He also gets the woman in the end. LOL! We also caught scenes from Anne of Green Gables. My dad will watch it even though he's a guy, but I hope that I will be able to have a girl so that we can both watch girly movies together. :)

While on the phone, my sister and I reflected on how thankful we are for our husbands and our homes. I am helping to plan her wedding here in the US in June and I am hoping that someday, I will be able to get to Panama Lord willing.

Thanksgiving

I have never in my life felt the wonder of Thanksgiving as I do this year. I have always had things provided for me and have taken things for granted. It's easy to do! I have so much more than I could ever imagine.

Yesterday, I was listening to K-love Christian radio and hearing testimony's from people that had NOTHING. One guy went from a 50,000 dollar job a year to losing it and living in his car. He talked about how he was cared for by a city mission and how God took care of him despite the circumstances. He would be so hungry that he was eating out of trash cans. That story really got to me and touched my heart. I thought to myself, "what can I do this year to brighten someone's Thanksgiving and help them?"

I called Northgate, my local church, and asked about donating food and they told me about the salvation army and contacting them. My boys and I this morning went to Walmart and picked out some Turkey and all the fixings. I talked to my oldest son Troy about Thanksgiving, what it means, and how we should be thankful for what we have, for others have none.

After we dropped off the food, we got in our car and prayed that whoever got the meal would be filled and find hope through Jesus. I heard the quote today, "Hope starts with a meal." I felt God working in my heart and if I stop and listen to His voice, He leads the way.

Philippians 4:19 says, God will meet all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Things I'm thankful for:

My life

My family, happy and healthy

My warm home

my cars

friends

food and fellowship

water

creation

JESUS

neighbors

my things

EVERYTHING!!!!

May those that don't know Jesus this holiday season come to Jesus and find hope in Him

AMEN

life and decisions

I had a hard time giving my testimony yesterday to my fellow Prodigy members. I had so much on my mind, but felt like I was talking in circles. I hope they understood what I was trying to say.
I basically grew up in a church and school with VERY hypocrytical people. I felt like I had to watch my step everywhere I was going and if I did something or said ONE word out of place, that I would be chastised for it.
Don't get me wrong, I grew up in a really nice home, but it was hard to make people realize that the pastor's family messes up at times. There were arguements with my sister and mom going psycho, and I felt that I couldn't be myself without people looking down on me. I hated having to wear dresses all the time and put on a smile when I felt angry or sad.
The people I hung around with made Christianity look bad. They would throw their money in the offering plate while they gossip about the person sitting a few rows behind them. I basically didn't know what I believed anymore and why. I just got my "christianity" on Sundays and never realized that God really wanted a relationship with me and wanted my time.
Once I got into college, I enjoyed making friends and being on my own, but I soon ran into trouble and made a mess of myself. I made a lot of mistakes, and I was afraid to ask God for forgiveness because I would just do it again, and I was living a life of guilt.
I learned a lot about God during college days. They weren't all bad, and I was able to talk to a counselor who helped me through all the baggage. I made awesome friends and and have many good memories.
After I got out of college, my family moved to a little town called Lyndonville. Yates Baptist has been the best church that dad has EVER had and he's still there. The people are the friendliest and the most welcoming people I have ever met. They accept me for who I am and for that, I appreciate them. Lyndonville is also where I met Chad, my husband. Chad became my best friend and I felt so comfortable and honest with him.
After marriage December 14, 2001, we moved to Batavia where we found our own church family at Northgate Free Methodist Church. We were able to find a college and career group called Prodigy and we have been there ever since. I began teaching Pre-K and just recently, I have joined mothers of pre-schoolers.
Through all of this, I have learned that God wants MY time. I could go through all the motions of attending church, ministering to people, and looking like I have it all together, but God wants ME. He says, "COME TO ME ALL YE WHO ARE WEARY AND HEAVY LADEN, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST."
I DON'T have it all together half the time, and I really struggle giving up my time to spend it with God. It's all about being "real" and honest with people, and I think that if Christians learned to do that, people wouldn't be so turned off from us.
I live knowing I have hope through Jesus. There are many things that I don't understand about the Bible and God, but I DO know that God loves me and I will have a home with Him someday.
My life verse is Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord.... plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope.

Sweet November

It has been an eventful November so far. Chad's birthday was the 10th. He invited his close friends to be a part of it. We had pizza and wings and then went bowling afterwards. Let's see...everyone that was there was. Meghann (Chad's neice), Miranda, Ben and Jaime, Lee and Emily, Amanda, and Justin (smitty). Then mom in law (Rita) and her boyfriend Rusty were there to watch the kids. It was most funny as we gave each other crazy nicknames during bowling, and had a contest as to who could get the lowest score. It wasn't hard. haha! Chad got a t-shirt and a gift certificate from FYE as well as the DVD season 2 of the Unit. I got him a Sabres shirt. When we got back, we played Apples to Apples while having dessert and coffee. We had a fabulous time! Birthdays should always be like this. It doesn't matter how old you get.
Landon's birthday was wednesday the 14th. We celebrated by having cake at Mapi and Papi's house (my parents) and then going to a family dinner at my dad's church. (Yates Baptist). The food was yummy and I got to say hi to some poeple I haven't talked to in a long time. Landon is into cars, so he got a spiral as well as a fire truck. He also got some clothes, a spin toy, and another game for his leap pad. I'm amazed how much of a book worm he is. (He reminds me of my sister Anna). He could sit and read forever!! He is learning his ABC'S and says, "oh wow, and yay". He is filled with so much joy and enthusiasm. I love watching him and loving him. He is 2 years old now. He also got his first hair cut. There goes my baby. It was mentioned that I should have another one now. LOL!
Troy will be having eye surgery on December 3rd. He has been going to the doctor since Sept I do believe and is slowly being able to see better out of his left eye. The doctor will give him minor adjustments with his muscles in both eyes and he will be able to go home the same day. The hard part will be explaining the surgery to him. I am sure that everything will go smoothly and the doctor mentioned that he should bounce right back. I hope that his eyes will be corrected real well so that he doesn't have to wear glasses like I had to.
Troy will have a pre-appointment coming up and Landon will have an appointment with his new doctor, Dr Tenney. She works with Dr. Burns and I know her by watching her kids at the day care (Max and Hannah). She is a fairly new Dr, but I wanted the boys to have a woman because they have gentle hands and voices to put them at ease.
The weather is just starting to get colder now. We have been blessed with nice warm weather and the trees are beautiful!!!
I have been able to go to Casper's farm with the kids, go on a hayride, and see the animals. There was also a hay maze and jumping pile. What a blast!
On Halloween, Troy was a blue power ranger and Landon was a frog. I didn't take any pictures, but I haven't put their costumes away either, so who knows. Maybe the laziness will pass and I will take them. LOL!
More posts coming soon!